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| Home | Features | DMA® Info | About | Vol 28 Issue 1 June 2003 |
Online DatingBy Jerry Wonderly, regular contributor to The DataBus There's a Brave New World out there, folks, when it comes to dating and finding a special someone, or even marriage. Besides going to clubs or grocery stores (does that really work?), running personal ads, joining clubs you don't like (that knitting class had lots of women but was a bore!), and relying on friends and co-workers for blind dates (ugh!), thanks to the internet we now have the world, and its singles, literally only an email away. Recently divorced, I have now rejoined the ranks of available bachelors looking for love. Rather than hitting the bars and learning to disco, I have opted to explore the world of cyber dating. Sure you're skeptical. But, believe it or not, in the month that I have been cyber mingling, I've found that there are definitely possibilities out there. So forget the grocery shopping for women and let me tell you about a few of the basics I've learned so far. First, where do you go online to search for someone to date? Well, a friend (enemy?) of mine at work highly recommended www.matchdoctor.com. I'm told there are both free and fee-based dating sites. Match Doctor is the first one I've tried, and quite frankly, has been so good that I haven't checked any more yet. However, I'm told that www.friendfinder.com is also free and very good. Match Doctor is free for a standard listing but you can also pay extra to have your ad come up at the top of searches by women. If you're desperate, pay the $25 or so to get your listing featured prominently for three months. That's what I did! Hey, gimme a break! Anyway, with a standard listing, you create a "profile" of who you are and what you're like. You also describe the kind of woman you're looking for and upload a picture of yourself. There are optional extra "Essay Questions" to answer in order to give women a better idea of who you are. If you're like most guys, if you don't want women to know you're really a creep, don't fill out the essays! Feeling a bit overconfident, I filled them out. Maybe that's why I don't get many responses, eh? Next, after you've filled out your profile and uploaded a fairly recent picture of yourself, you start looking for women you may like. Oh, by the way, give yourself an attractive user name like NiceGuy234 or MrClean875. Don't choose user names like Stud753 or SkirtChaser907. Women seem to steer clear of those types of names for some reason…. Anyway, until some sucker, errr, woman, emails you, you need to start beating the bushes looking for someone you'd like to date. There are two ways: searching female profiles and looking to see who's online. Just designate your search terms and start reading their profiles. Before I go on, I should take a moment to cover some ethics of online dating. First, remember that this is cyber dating and people aren't necessarily who they say they are. The guy who says he's 40 may be 50 and has posted a picture of himself from grade school! The woman who says she's "a few extra pounds" probably is heavyset. Many, many people don't post their pictures or say much in their profiles. Let's be reasonable here. Post a fairly recent picture and take the time to honestly describe yourself. If you hate walks in the moonlight, don't put it down! If you love watching NFL games, put it down! Lots of women love football if you are willing to explain it to them. Women who are looking for financially secure men are gold-diggers. Beware of really cute women with webcams. They're cyber babes who make their living getting guys to visit their webcams for a fee. Guess there's a seedy side to everything internet, eh? Also, lots of foreign women are looking to hook up with American men. Unless you want a foreign woman, avoid them. Also, you have some blocking ability in the site's emailing feature. Anyway, be skeptical. If they don't have a picture, get them to email you one at a dummy email account you can set up, like sucker@yahoo.com . OK, you've met a really special lady on Match Doctor and you've corresponded a little via Match Doctor's emailing feature. Now what? Next, you graduate to regular email correspondence and instant messaging. Remember, don't use your regular email account and she shouldn't either. You still only want to use first names. If one or both of you has not posted a picture, email pictures back and forth. After that, assuming you both are still interested, exchange phone numbers. This is important. For obvious reasons, you need verification that she is a she! When getting to know each other via emailing, keep in mind the general rules of courtship: watch your language and be careful of sexual innuendo. You're getting to know one another and wording can be misleading. So, think before you type! Now you've corresponded and talked on the phone and have both decided to meet face to face. This will be the deciding point on chemistry and all of that. You don't really know her yet; it's still more of a blind date than anything, so where do you go? Well, the norm seems to be to meet for coffee somewhere public. You want to pick a safe place for the both of you. Don't invite her to your place or vice versa. You could invite her to dinner, a museum, or something but coffee would be just fine. Then just ad lib from there! So, that's a peek at the world of online dating. Believe me, there are lots of great people available and looking online. Go ahead, get your feet wet; you just may find the love of your life waiting out there! If so, let me know! I'd sure like to know if I somehow managed to play matchmaker! Have fun! |
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A
native Daytonian, Jerry has been involved with computers since the mid-80's.
"I cut my teeth on CP/M Plus." He says that 'computering' can be very
expensive but doesn't have to be. "Ask questions. Think cheap. Shop
around. And don't assume your computer needs to be traded in. I'd rather
put my money in my 401(k) than spend it on a complete new system and software."| DMA® Home | Computerfest® | Copyright Statement | ||
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