Last month Jerry Wonderly wrote about the intricacies of Online Dating, and I have come to think that this could be an oxymoron.  I think we can meet people on the Internet, but it makes sense that we cannot actually date on the Internet.  These liaisons are started are in the mind and not in a smoky bar where you can’t breathe.

I thought I would use Jerry’s advice to try and meet some new people but, to my surprise, no one seemed  interested in emailing me back.  I have been having fun over the last few weeks.  I recently got a new job.  I am going to a Bar Mitzvah for the first time, and I am realizing I have volunteered to do too many things. 

Spending money on online dating could mean you are interested in a long term commitment.  Can we really have love at first sight?  I did, but the person I wrote to did not seem to have the same lust in her heart for my picture as I did for hers.  It was fun to try, but I started to think that I had wasted my time and money. 

All of the other girls were only second best, but wait.  I was sent a message by someone who found my picture appealing.  This was someone whom I found interesting after looking at more of her pictures.  Her main picture was not one that I had a real attraction to at first, but looking at some of her other pictures I was able to ascertain that she (like so many of us) hates to have her picture taken.

One of her pictures was taken at a moment most would not want to show - perhaps one reason this was not her main picture.  I could see her fun-loving attitude and charm.  Is this to be my first true love online?  I can only hope.  I can also only hope to actually meet this person.  I am overbooked now that I have a job, and she is overbooked because she has other commitments, and it seems we are both wasting our money to meet someone else online who doesn’t really have any time either.

I shall leave nameless the service I am using as it might lead the people online who are still trying to meet people on this service to write me evil notes.  I feel the emotional feelings of getting your dating legs is an important thing to get in touch with.  The people on the other end of our notes are also people with emotions who perhaps are getting dumped on, just as we may feel.

Is the main reason you are getting online to find that true love, or are you just trying to meet some friends?  I have been hanging around the same people for too long and need to get out and meet some new people.  The first person I was attracted to wanted true love and a white knight to come charging onto the scene.  My first note must have been a letdown.

Was her expectation too high, or was I too callous in my reading of her bio?  Yes, I am interested in meeting that special someone, but I know that the real important part of the equation is that we must like each other.  When someone hears you might have been out of work for a while, they don’t take into account that you are not as stressed as the rest of the population, and now that you are working again, it takes little time to get as stressed as everyone else.  Plus, you are out of tune with everyone else's workplace stress.

It took me a few months to actually sign up and commit time and energy to finding a new friend.  I think that now I have started, it makes more sense to try and meet a few people.  One person is good, but a few people will help to keep your emotions open to the dating world.  The first person you meet might be The One, but maybe you should look deeper than just your first pick.  The first person you are looking at might not be as enamored of you as you are of them.  They also might be looking to meet a few new people.

You might find someone you are comfortable with and that likes you as much as you like them, but it might take a few dates before you come across the right emotional chemistry.  Dating is harder the older you get and breaking out of the old routine is the hardest part of the equation.

I think everyone has a match, but the moon and the stars only shine if you are there to see them.  We are locked into our cars and in front of our computers.  Getting out after a day’s work is breaking the routine.  Cleaning our clothes, home, and ourselves takes up much of our time.  Our current family and friends aren’t enough if you are single, and make us want to break out of our mold. 

It really takes a concerted effort to change our current habits and get back out into the dating world and meet new people.  I love my dog, but this bond can only take you so far.  The animal’s love is unconditional, but the prospective dating partner is most likely needing as much understanding and compassion as you do.  Keep in mind the relationships you have had and liked.

Meet some new people and have some new experiences.  Realize the one you love might love someone else so don’t necessarily put all of your eggs in one basket.  Your first pick may be the best, but they may have a different set of needs.  It is important that you both want to keep seeing each other.  Don’t be surprised if someone you didn’t notice notices you.  Give them your time and you might be pleasantly surprised.  Most of us spend too much time on our computers, so if you are in need of new friends, realize that it can also be your portal to the outside world.