On your way home from work, stop at your local
pharmacy and go to the Thermometer section.
You will need to purchase a rectal thermometer - made by
Johnson and Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand.
When you get home, lock your doors, draw the drapes,
and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed
during your therapy.
Change into very comfortable clothing, such as a track suit,
and lie down on your bed. Open the package and remove
the thermometer.
Carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not
become chipped or broken.
Take out the material that comes with the thermometer
and read it.
You will notice that in small print there is a statement:
EVERY RECTAL THERMOMETER MADE BY JOHNSON AND JOHNSON
IS PERSONALLY TESTED.
Now close your eyes and repeat out loud five times:
"I am so glad I do not work for quality
control at the
Johnson and Johnson Company."
Have a nice day and remember -- there is always someone
with a worse job than yours!